Long Johns, A Tractor, And A Buzz Cut

Where would one be without one's friends? I am convinced that two grade school buddies, Dion and James, are responsible for my early balding head. The three of us were inseparable, though also subject to each other's torments, like the time they made unmerciful fun of me when after a cold Georgia winter my grandmother sent me to school with my long johns rolled up under my new spring shorts and my running around on the playground made the long johns roll down.

But Dion and James were not exactly fashion plates themselves with their overalls and clodhoppers (which they ditched whenever possible preferring bare feet). That day, that fateful day, we had a new toy -- a little green tractor made of metal (you remember metal, don't you?) with a wind-up spring that made it go. The school day had just ended and we were outside experiencing FREEDOM and preparing for the journey home. I always walked while those two rode the bus being as they were country boys.

One or both of them got the idea to place the wound-up tractor atop my head where the spring immediately caught itself in my at-that-time thick mop. They boarded their bus with whoops and tears of laughter while I suffered great agony on the long walk home with the eyes of the entire community if not greater Georgia on me with a green tractor atop my head. After dying on that cross, I did have a resurrection. Among other things, my grandfather was a barber, part of the house being his shop. The next day I joined the trend toward buzz cuts in the school.